Wonderful and Woeful Warnings

Lawrence Don-Elysyn

One of the true delights I’ve had as an editor is the checking of Warnings, Cautions, and Notes. It thrilled me to think that something I edited, if neglected, would lead to a fellow human being being fried to a crisp or to the destruction of a multimillion-dollar piece of equipment.

“They better listen to this one,” I would think as I pored over a manuscript and imagined the news-making cataclysms that would occur because someone ignored our warning or caution. The rest of the manual was mere description, a collection of forgettable words, incomprehensible illustrations, and boring part numbers. This, however, was something dramatic. “The End is Coming” … especially if you neglect “our” warning.

However, with time, I came to realize that not all the people I checked were as much “into it” as myself. Many people wrote warnings that were little more than a statement of fact.

UNIT CONTAINS 450 VDC.

FRAMIS WEIGHS 6,784 POUNDS, SOAKING WET.

That’s interesting. When I see such warnings, I feel like screaming “What about it? What are you going to do about it?” I want muscular warnings, well fleshed out.

UNIT CONTAINS 450 VDC. FLIP OFF THAT BREAKER OR YOU’LL ROAST YOUR TOES.

FRAMIS WEIGHS 6,784 POUNDS. USE A LIFT TABLE, OR YOU’LL BE PEANUT BUTTER.

Such warnings strike the soul with dread. After all, no one wants roasted toes and, though not altogether unappetizing, one would rather eat than be peanut butter.

Other manuscripts that come across my desk, however, sin by excess.

THERE’S 480 VDC POWER IN THE UPPER SECTION, AND CURRENT CAN ALSO BE FOUND IN THE LOWER SECTIONS, AND TO UNCLIP IS SAFEST WHEN THERE ARE BARRIERS BELOW AND OTHERS ARE ABOVE. AT NO TIME DO THE CONTRARY OR ANYTHING THAT ISN’T WHAT WE TOLD YOU TO DO. DOING ANY OF THE THINGS THAT AREN’T THE THINGS THAT WE’RE SAYING YOU’RE NOT TO DO IS CONSIDERED A DANGEROUS THING TO DO AND COULD LEAD TO MULTIPLE DAMAGE AND INJURIES.

(OK. I’m making this one up, but it isn’t hard. I’ve seen worse many, many, many times over.) After you finish reading the above, there are two questions that should pop up in your mind:

•  What is this person saying?

•  What language is he saying it in?

A warning should never be a puzzle, after all. What is dangerous must be clearly indicated as well as what to do about it. I’ve actually spent up to 15 minutes trying to figure out what a warning was warning against and come up empty. When it comes to writing warnings and cautions, I always tell my writers to give the reader three essential insights:

•  What is the nature of the beast?

•  What must you do to avoid trouble?

•  What might happen if you don’t listen?

And now, to practice what I preach, here is my warning to you:

THIS IS A PIECE OF ADVICE GIVEN IN FRIENDSHIP.

TAKE HEED.

IF YOU DON’T, YOU MIGHT END UP FRYING SOMEONE’S TOES, AND YOU MIGHT ALSO END UP TELLING IT TO THE JUDGE.

Lawrence is the senior text editor at Bombardier Transportation in St. Bruno, Quebec, Canada. He has been with Bombardier 14 years. He is married (to a lady from Dallas) and has three grown children and two grandchildren. You can reach him at lawrence.don-elysyn@ca.transport.bombardier.com.

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